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March 20, 2007 · 19 comments

THIS, I like. How about you?

{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }

1 slouching mom March 20, 2007 at 2:48 pm

I was amused by the part of the article in which housework was discussed, to the effect that women now take time away from housework to focus on children. Because as I see it? The truth is that we do much less housework than the moms of the fifties, or, God forbid, the teens or twenties. It’s all become automatized in a way it wasn’t then: dishwashers, washing machines, dryers… Nor do we spend near as much time on meal preparation, because many of us buy precooked items or bring home take-out.

Did you ever see the show The 1900s House (on PBS)? A family of today spent some months trying to live as a family would have lived in London at the turn of the century. They all nearly went batty, but without a doubt the most strung out was the mom, who had to wash all the clothes on a washboard and to prepare the meals with a tiny, unreliable heat source and with far fewer ingredients than we have available to us today.

I’m not complaining, believe me; I take as much advantage of modern-day appliances as the next person, and I get take-out food embarrassingly freqently. I’m just trying to point out that it is an absolute that we have far less housework to do than moms did fifty or one hundred years ago, and that that fact automatically ups the time we can spend with our kids.

BTW, The 1900s House is worth renting. It’s fascinating.

2 Tater and Tot March 20, 2007 at 2:54 pm

I think that we could sit on our children’s laps 24 hours a day and still feel guilty about something. It never goes away.

3 Co March 20, 2007 at 3:08 pm

I really like! Why do we feel guilty when we are doing more? I freak out if my grandma is coming over because my house is never as clean as hers. I feel like I never spend enough time with my kids, but I don’t remember a lot of “time spending” with my mom when I was little. How can we crush out the evil guilt monster and realize that we are doing great?

Automation is a funny topic. Our dishwasher was going out and my first thought was “Oh, no. How are we going to get our dishes cleaned?” Uh, duh.

4 John Merland March 20, 2007 at 4:17 pm

I wonder how this takes into account time the kid spends with the magic mommy hands you brought to light a few posts back?

5 Jen the Mom March 20, 2007 at 5:12 pm

Speaking of real moms…. I tagged you for the Real mom meme on my blog. It’s addicting!

6 kirsty March 20, 2007 at 5:13 pm

Yep, there’s definitely 40 % less housework going on around here…

7 Barbara March 20, 2007 at 5:19 pm

Loved this:

” ‘It’s almost like it doesn’t matter how much they do, they feel they do not do enough,’ said sociologist Suzanne M. Bianchi, the study’s lead author.’”

Um, yeah. ALMOST.

8 Simon March 20, 2007 at 5:26 pm

Well, it’s all right, I guess. A step in the right direction at any rate.

But how about a complete return to the good ol’ days, huh? C’mon!!

Ladies, are you with me?!

http://j-walk.com/other/goodwife/images/goodwifeguide.gif

9 Jenn March 20, 2007 at 6:33 pm

Simon: I particularly liked the “be a little gay and a little more interesting” advice. I do think that would give me something else to think about besides Mother Guilt. My husband too.

10 slouching mom March 20, 2007 at 8:01 pm

Simon: OH MY GOD, that is unbelievable. Don’t question your husband even if he stays out all night? WTF!

This is just awful. I feel sorry for all of our mothers for having to read such drivel, and that’s assuming they believed it to be drivel.

I can’t stop shaking my head in disbelief.

11 greg March 20, 2007 at 8:09 pm

Not to be too wonkish on the subject, but this article is an interesting compliment to the one you cited.

12 nolamom March 20, 2007 at 8:24 pm

I think all moms think to themselves, ‘I’m going to do a better job than my mom did with time, or cleaning,’ and we end up feeling overwhelmed. I know I am guilty of thinking that, especially with cleaning, but the truth is, I suck at housekeeping, but I am great at playing, singing, games, and outdoor play. I agree it is hard to ditch the “mommy guilt” but I’m going to keep trying.

13 Andrea March 20, 2007 at 8:38 pm

Yes, there will be no white glove tests in my house, that’s for sure. Picked up and presentable, yes. Clean, um, not really. Not like we live in a pit, but there is dust. And sometimes an obvious need to vacuum. Also, dinner? Never made from scratch.

14 Meepers March 20, 2007 at 8:53 pm

Great article!

15 Spot the Wonder Dog March 20, 2007 at 11:35 pm

Darn comment form keeps eating my comments. Sucks to be me.

16 momma polski March 21, 2007 at 9:17 am

What is this thing they call “housework”?

17 Sarah Nickonchuk March 21, 2007 at 8:32 pm

My grandmother asked me why I would even consider getting a housekeeper when I am home with my son all day, and said that I must be lazy. Well, I’d rather spend my day doing stuff with him and stuff that is pleasant to me. And sadly, housekeeping is not one of those. So screw the sticky floors and dust. No matter how many times I clean it, it’ll still be sticky tomorrow. So why bother, right?
My son won’t remember how clean the floors are, but he will remember that I took him to the park and read to him and cuddled him and spent time with HIM.

18 Mary G March 21, 2007 at 8:56 pm

Hey, I was a ’60′s mom. Ten point whatever hours per week spent interacting with kiddies? No way. I probably spent that long at the park with them. I was lucky enough to be able to work part time. And yes, they had to go and play while I read the paper. Tough. The big difference? There were two or three kids of the general age range of mine at about every second house on the street where we lived. We had a big, fenced yard so all these moppets played in it, under my eye from the kitchen window, but playing with one another.

19 andi March 21, 2007 at 10:09 pm

Ah, Housework. We had a brief affair in 2003. Didn’t really work out, though. He was sort of boring.

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