Hattie Bella and I share a terrible, and terribly unoriginal (if you’re one for tallying gender stereotypes), weakness for jewelry stores. Sophie has her Webkinz; Hattie and I talk birthstones and bling.
A few months ago, she Shirley-Temple-talked a jewelry store clerk into removing a $40K diamond ring from a locked cabinet AND LETTING HER CLUTCH IT IN HER STICKY STEALTHY LITTLE HANDS. Meanwhile, I looked around frantically for a pipe cleaner to fish it out of her throat in case she swallowed it TO MAKE IT HER VERY OWN. It was a terrifying moment.
This weekend, the H-bomb and I ventured into another nearby jewelry store to talk about birthstones. There was a beautiful green peridot ring in the window, three sparkly lime-green stones. I couldn’t help but ask; I couldn’t help but wince when my asking was answered. Ah. No sweat. Neither of us is an August baby. We thanked the nice lady and headed off for a cookie at the coffee shop down the street.
When H. caught me glancing wistfully over my shoulder, she patted me and sighed, “Oh, Mommy, stop dreaming about rings.”
Four years old, so wise. In my defense, I was also simultaneously dreaming about a woodstove, a linoleum floor that does not peel or trap dirt, and a bag of dog food that would not cause Eli diarrhea. I dream big.
AND: Speaking of, tomorrow, April 1st, is ONE YEAR since Eli the Moose came to live with us! He continues to be a gigantic lunkhead with mostly perfect manners, save his terrible flatulence and penchant for stealing stuffed animals, eating his own poo, and rising on his hind legs in excitement when people come over, thus shredding wood and curtains and shinbones. But aside from those things, he is pure hunka hunka learnin’ love, walks like a prince on a leash, and makes me feel all girlish and safe. I know I’m safe because the mailman has totally never ONCE tried to come inside, or, you know, rung twice.
Happy Honorary Birthday, Eli! You woof my world.
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I’m so glad that I get to be first to wish Eli a happy anniversary!
It was always meant to be that he end up with you….and only you and I know how true that really is.
Thank you for giving him the loving home he so desperately needed and deserved.
xxoo
Bling vs. diarrhea. I didn’t see that one coming.
Happy Adoption Day, Eli! You do love your stuffed animals.
Whew! I’m glad this post ended the way it did. For a minute, I thought you and Hattie were turning to a life of crime and were going to be sticking up jewelry stores in order to feed your jewelry habits. I felt so sad to think of the two of you spending the rest of your days on the lam, runnin’ from the law.
‘Terrible flatulence and penchant for stealing stuffed animals’…this cracked me up.
I wonder if my firstborn daughter will be devastated when she realized her birth stone is green rather than a bright, offensive pink.
So thoughtful of you to start shopping for my August birthday already, but really, such extravagance is unnecessary.
Happy doggie anniversary to Eli! It sounds like he found the perfect home for him.
Now see, when I walk past a jewelry store with any of my kids, all I hear is “My PRECIOUS!!! I WANTS IT!! CRUEL NASTY HOBBITSES STOLE IT!! PRECIOUS!!! THERE IT IS!!! MY PRECIOUS!!! DIRTY UGLY HOBBITSES PUT IT IN A CASE!!! TAUNTS ME IT DOES!!! GIVES IT TO ME!!! GIVES ME MY PRECIOUS!!!!”
We usually leave quickly when the store employees start to pick up the phone.
Hattie Belle: keeping it real.
come over to my house and ogle all my peridot beads! and many other birthstones, too!
I’d like to offer a suggestion for the great and wonderful Eli- a spoonful of canned pumpkin in his food at every meal. Not pumpkin pie mix but actual pumpkin- or in the fall, you can make your own from the jack’o lanterns. Within a day or so, his tummy should be much less upset and the flatulence a thing of the past. This has worked for many, many dogs I know and those I’ve owned. Good anytime there is an upset tummy, but excellent on a daily basis for strong, sensitive types like Eli. You won’t believe the difference!
“Shirley-Temple-talked” – I love that phrase!