when i think about the Olympics i tweet myself

mommyjenny I cannot believe they got a Canadian mime to pretend to fix the Olympic cauldron. Even H is speechless. #ocanada #fearthemime
45 minutes ago via web

jennyfromtheblock I sort of love that they got a Canadian mime to pretend to fix the Olympic cauldron. #sortalovemimes
44 minutes ago via web

thesueyside If those white-clad Gidget snowboarders make a maple leaf, I will slit my wrists. In a maple leaf pattern. #fml #readyformyclosingceremony
22 minutes ago via web

mommyjenny @thesueyside Stay alive. The Marriage Ref with Seinfeld and Baldwin is next up. #laughteristhebestmedicine
15 minutes ago via web

jennyfromtheblock OMG. THEY PUT RUSSIANS IN INFLATABLE HAMSTER BALLS WITH CHRISTMAS LIGHTS AND EVERYONE IS KEEPING A STRAIGHT FACE. #killmysenseofirony
14 minutes ago via web

mommyjenny If I can’t get my kid to brush her teeth, I sure as hell can’t get her to the Olympics #parentingsux
12 minutes ago via web

thesueyside The Dan Jansen commercial makes me cry. Joannie Rochette’s hat makes me cry. Shawn White’s coif makes me cry. #wishiwerekidding
11 minutes ago via web

jennyfromtheblock @thesueyside The head of Canada cannot speeekez les Francais. I bet you can say merci beaucoups without pronouncing the p. #blamecanada
9 minutes ago via web

mommyjenny Bob Costas just said “Amen” to Neil Young. No, seriously. He actually said, “Amen,” and I snort-wheezed drool on the dog. #neilyoungwhatiswithyourhat
6 minutes ago via web

dreamyjenn WTF? Why is Doc Baker tooting into a harmonica under gigantic icicles? Where’s Project Runway? #adhdnotjust4kidz
4 minutes ago via web

thesueyside Someone just said AS IT WERE. Show me to the bridge. I want poisoned candy and I will lick and lick until I can lick no more. #arsenicnotSplenda
3 minutes ago via web

jennyfromtheblock Oh, William Shatner. You have never made love in a canoe, and we all know it. P.S. They spelled ‘prairies’ with only one ‘i’ on the big-ass floor postcards. #atleasticanspelleh?
3 minutes ago via web

mommyjenny O, CATH-er-ine O’Hara, I love you, but I hate the writers who gave you this material. Sorry, eh! #noEmmysontheway
2 minutes ago via web

mommyjenny @jennyfromtheblock They photographed PEE IN THE SNOW. Please tell me you saw that too. #urinedoesnotbelongintheclosingceremonyoftheolympics
1 minute ago via web

thesueyside I love Michael J. Fox. #totally
1 minute ago via web

mommyjenny I love Michael J. Fox. #absolutely
1 minute ago via web

jennyfromtheblock I love Michael J. Fox. #alexrulesbutiwoulddojasonbateman
1 minute ago via web

thesueyside But he said back bacon and poutine and now I want to cry again. I am pathetic. Pathetique. #fixme
45 seconds ago via web

jennyfromtheblock @thesueyside Buble Alert! With Mounties! SHUT OFF THE TV and call the Good Samaritans, stat #weloveyouandinflatablemountiesblow
30 seconds ago via web

mommyjenny @thesueyside @jennyfromtheblock THEY DRESSED A CHILD AS A HOCKEY PUCK AND BY GOD I WANT TO SMASH IT, HARD #sowrong
30 seconds ago via web

dreamyjenn Are those inflatable mountie sex dolls or should my mom be adjusting my med trays? #mountthis
25 seconds ago via web

jennyontheblock OH MY FUCK THEY ARE BRINGING IN THE BEAVERS #ohmyfucktheyarebringinginthebeavers
20 seconds ago via web

mommyjenny I think I just saw a mountie blowup doll hump one of the beavers #bleachmybrain
20 seconds ago via web

dreamyjenny @mommyjenny No, no, it was a beaver mounting a canoe. Someone stand on guard for me or I am going to piss myself in my sleep. #withglowingfarts
15 seconds ago via web

jennyontheblock I think the maple leaf nymph with the big titties just touched herself inappropriately #dragqueensfindingwork
10 seconds ago via web

thesueyside @jennyontheblock @mommyjenny @dreamyjenn I feel much better now. Made it to the Marriage Ref and they taxidermied The Fonz #perfectending
5 seconds ago via web