Gee, this is useful information for overwhelmed mothers.
No, seriously. I mean, come ON. I sleep with my left buttock beside a sunny window, but that doesn’t mean my right buttock wants to commit suicide.
This study is a real delight, because we all know that harried mothers don’t have enough crap jerky to gnaw on. Just brilliant. If you didn’t need the Lexapro before, you will now, along with some additional medication for your newly diagnosed OCD. Must point the baby to the LEFT. Must point the baby to the LEFT. No, baby, stay LEFT. Baby must stay LEFT.
I am going to start carrying my children and my groceries in my left arm only, doing the laundry with my left arm only, and mopping the floor with my left arm only, until it falls off from blatant overuse right into the Pine-Sol, and my right arm withers from disuse, but becomes a nice badge that I’m a good cheery mama. Right on!
Maybe then I will be able to claim disability and travel to Iceland! Where they love you and reindeer wink at you even if you are sporting disfigured limbs and depression and OCD! I just know they’re nice there! I know it! If you point your baby at the freezer, it means you were meant to go to Iceland! Who’s on the Iceland Bus? Toot toot!
Above: Scientific proof that I was perfectly well adjusted and loving ALL THE TIME during Sophie’s infancy. However, you will see that baby Sophie is holding onto me and the car keys with HER right arm, which clearly shows that she was depressed and plotting a hostile takeover of the Toyota (and subsequent escape from her mother, who cruelly withheld right-armed love and screwed her up for life).
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This is such bizarre stuff. Maybe the reason that they’re stressed by the time they hold the baby on the right is because they’ve been holding the baby on the left ALL DAY LONG and they are worn out and the baby has been fussy (thus the holding all day long) and so now the baby is on the right because my left arm can’t hold anything else for one more second and you’re damn right I’m a little stressed! AND, now I’m trying to do everything left handed, becuse I’m holding my baby on the right. Geesh.
Ridiculous.
Also – I hate studies that don’t really propose any solutions. On the off chance that this information is correct or useful (hmm . . .) what are you supposed to DO about it?
Wow, it seems I may possibly have done 1 thing right, in my year long career as a parent. I’m left-handed, and do practially everything that only requires one arm with my left side. Including holding the baby.
However, does this mean I haven’t suffered from “baby-related stress?” OH MY GOD. Baby-related stress is a part of my DNA now. Particularly from reading reports on studies like this. Lately I’m fairly certain I’ve given the child ADHD, learning disabilities, and the potential to be obese because I let her watch Blue’s Clues. Perhaps the left handed crap makes up for that??!?
Wait. I thought ALL new mothers were under extreme stress. Was I the only one?
Of course! And I thought it was the new baby and 2 stepkids that hated me and hubby’s ex-wife doing drive bys on a regular basis that had me stressing when Shortman was born.
Oh, and the fact that we were two poor students trying to pay rent, child support, hospital bills and feed our family.
Geez. Here if I would have only changed to holding him on my left side.
I read this a couple of days ago and had to talk myself down off the ledge of the house.
With the baby in my arms.
Seriously? Take the money paid for this study and give it to some struggling working mama or something.
This study pissed me off beyond freaking words…jesus, do you know how many babies in the world need to be held, period?
Grrrr……..
Her Grace, you took the words right out of my mouth. I want these researchers to show me an unstressed new mother. I dare them to try to find one.
If you start doing all that stuff, Jenn, you’ll finally know how left-handed single men feel.
The institutions that provide money for this kind of research need to be burned to the ground, then set on fire again just in case.
It would’ve been totally bueno if at the end of the article they’d added that mothers need to breast feed from only the breast on the right side of their body.
Wow, that explains a lot! Now I know why I’m so depressed.
NOT!
Did they ever thiink it’s just more comfortable to hold the baby on the dominant side of the body? I’m right handed, and so it felt more natural to hold my son on my right side. Holding him the other way around made me feel like I’d drop him.
Come to think of it, I’ve always held babies that way, from the time my brother came home from the hospital and my mom let me “help” her take care of him!
I just looooove studies that effectively say “You’re a bad mother (no matter what). Thanks! Bye.”
Wait, pretty much all the research studies say that. Never mind.
I’m sorry, but that is ridiculous. As a psychologist, I object. So they’ve found a correlation between cradling arm and depression (which, BTW, I’d like to see replicated). There are so many third variables that could account for the correlation, but instead, they choose the most media-worthy one.
Yuck. Just yuck.
We are supposed to take this seriously? Like Megan, I am a lefty. I held left, until I needed my dominant hand for something, and then shifted The Lump to the right. Which was a lot of the time. Hmm, maybe I was only depressed part time?
Thanks for the laugh of the day.
Iceland kind of scares me; I hate cold and winking reindeer sound a little creepy. But it would be pretty awesome to be surrounded by other depressed OCD one-armed ladies. Are we bringing our damaged children, too? Curious.
Thanks for the wild laugh this morning.
I carried Biba on my left side fairly exclusively. Because I needed my right hand to do the mountains of work that needed to be done. Which STRESSED ME WAY OUT!!!! So where’s the correlation there? Eh? harrumph. What a load of dreck. I will add that from carrying Biba on the left side only, I got (oh dear, am I ever going to be able to spell this?) that thing called sciatica. ow!
I held my babies on the left side and was stressed plenty – go figure. I just needed my right hand to write, cook, read, care for other children etc.
Can’t we find better use of funds than to use ice water to torture women?
This study is just plain ridiculous. They could have paid a monkey to do this study. Here’s the deal:
1) The majority of the population is right handed
2) People tend to carry things that are heavier and/or in need of more care in their dominant/stronger arm
3) The majority of moms (especially moms with infants) are stressed out
Result: Mom’s that carry their babies in their right arms are stressed out and depressed.
Wow! Great science there!
Crap jerky. LOL CRAP JERKY. I’m sooo going to steal that. I’ll give you credit the first few times and after that, I’m keeping all the accolades to myself. I love it!
Wow, what a waste of time and money that study was. Seriously. who came up with that idea to begin with?
Argh. I find this study and the results totally ridiculous. I’m right-handed, so I carried my babies on the left. And had PPD.
Let’s give all the new moms something ELSE to be paranoid and suffer about. Puh-leez.
I may not want to kill myself, but if you don’t stop cramming me into that butt girdle, I’m gonna start smoking crack.
And all this time I thought I was just singularly amazing. Now I find out other people carried their babies on the left too.
I carried my sons on my left hip andnd with my left arm because they wanted to be held ALL the time, and pretty much I WANTED to hold them all the time, but we also had to cook and eat and answer the phone. My right hand needed to be free, but dang I go strong in my left arm!
And the water stress thing? If I plunged my hands in cold water I’d cradle the kid with the right too! That little sucker could warm up my valuable hand right away.
Well, maybe you held Sophie in the correct arm, but you clearly avoided eye contact with her. From this she has probably learned that her mommy doesn’t like to look at her.
I guess dangling by ankles is out?
You’re sure you didn’t Photoshop that picture so it just looks like Sophie is the crazy one? Because that is totally what I would have done.
Well, I’d like a ticket for the Iceland Bus. Toot toooooaargle glub.
Thank you for providing the link, so I could read the comment, “What a load of tosh.”
I miss England.
Well of course I hold her in my left arm. I have to hold my beer and cigaretters in my right hand!
Why is Biance suddenly in my head? Oh yeah, “to the left, to the left…you must not know bout me, you must not know bout me. I could have another you…” Sorry I got lost there for a minute. WHAT! They found stressed out mothers!? What is this stress they speak of? DUH! Anyway obviously these scientist do not have children and therefore have both hands free to make up these preposterous studies.
I held my babies on the left the majority of the time and I was a poster child for teen motherhood depression. But THAT boob worked better, so the left it was.
I hate these studies. Go study some fathers for a damn minute, give me a break from it all.
Ah, you commentors! You are so funny! I am still snorffling and weeping with laughter as I write this, and who ever knew that Jenn’s right buttock had so much to say, and so many plans?! /Fifi
And here I was thinking that just HAVING a baby induces baby-related stress!
I’m British, so you can take it from me : don’t EVER read the Daily Mail if you value your sanity and your intellect !
Ok, DL. I just spit coffee all over my keyboard!
Oh my. The things scientists study these days.
Am I the only crazy person who likes this kind of thing.
I knew I was depressed…and I did use my right arm…so I dunno.
Yes, it is like they are trying to torture you when you are pregnant. But on the other hand, science…I so prefer science to all the other speculation that we are subject to time after time.
In fact, I want to make that a rule: No one can tell any pregnant woman or new mother anything unless there are at least two double-blind studies to back it up.
Or maybe everyone should just STFU, double blind studies or no?
Oh, Lordy. I cradled right because I am so left-handed that I can’t do the simplest things with my right hand, like hold a bottle. But I am, indeed, prone to depression, which is usually triggered by stupid studies.
I wonder what Dr. Reissland would think if I dumped that bucket of ice water on his head while using my right arm or my left? hmmm, have to study that one.
I am left-handed… so, should I have held my boys on the left or the right?
Turns out, of course, that my right boob outproduced the left 2:1 – so, I mostly held them right (oh, and that way I could stuff my face at the same time).
Is it the eating or the side that is bad? Or, is the side bad for a southpaw… oh, so many more questions…
Urgh – total load ‘o crap.
Umn, how about 90 % of the world is right handed, so they want to have their RIGHT hand free while holding a baby?
Doesn´t that make more sense than that stupid overly paid study?
good grief.
I used to switch arms off and on all day, foremost because I needed to nurse from both breasts, and secondly because those little lumps of drool get HEAVY!
What an asinine study.
Why can’t people focus on important things like curing the common cold?
Wow…I didn’t know that you were supposed to HOLD them.
Great post! Spot on. And some fabulously entertaining comments too.