Gee, this is useful information for overwhelmed mothers.
No, seriously. I mean, come ON. I sleep with my left buttock beside a sunny window, but that doesn’t mean my right buttock wants to commit suicide.
This study is a real delight, because we all know that harried mothers don’t have enough crap jerky to gnaw on. Just brilliant. If you didn’t need the Lexapro before, you will now, along with some additional medication for your newly diagnosed OCD. Must point the baby to the LEFT. Must point the baby to the LEFT. No, baby, stay LEFT. Baby must stay LEFT.
I am going to start carrying my children and my groceries in my left arm only, doing the laundry with my left arm only, and mopping the floor with my left arm only, until it falls off from blatant overuse right into the Pine-Sol, and my right arm withers from disuse, but becomes a nice badge that I’m a good cheery mama. Right on!
Maybe then I will be able to claim disability and travel to Iceland! Where they love you and reindeer wink at you even if you are sporting disfigured limbs and depression and OCD! I just know they’re nice there! I know it! If you point your baby at the freezer, it means you were meant to go to Iceland! Who’s on the Iceland Bus? Toot toot!
Above: Scientific proof that I was perfectly well adjusted and loving ALL THE TIME during Sophie’s infancy. However, you will see that baby Sophie is holding onto me and the car keys with HER right arm, which clearly shows that she was depressed and plotting a hostile takeover of the Toyota (and subsequent escape from her mother, who cruelly withheld right-armed love and screwed her up for life).
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