“I’m a dork,” I said to Sophie.
“You’re not a dork,” she said kindly. “You’re just weird.”
“No, today I feel like a dork. Do you ever have one of those days?”
She thought about this. “No. Besides, ‘dork’ is a bad word.”
“Well, it’s a bad word if you call somebody else that.”
She waited for me to get the point.
“Okay,” I said, “I shouldn’t call myself that, but I really feel like a dork. I sent two text messages? And nobody wrote back. I know it was only two, but now I’m sure I have no friends.”
Sophie laughed. “It was just two messages. You have a lot of friends.”
“Nope. No friends. Big dork. Life, over.”
She laughed harder. “That’s NOT true.”
I sighed. “Okay. But it FEELS like it’s true.”
She walked away smiling and shaking her head, relieved that second grade is not the only habitat for drama queens.
Later, in the bathroom, she stared at the mirror, which has lipstick writing on it. “Why is it up to ‘WARRIOR x6′? The last time I was here, it was only ‘WARRIOR x3.’”
“It’s been a very long week, kid.”
“What, like, three more bad things happened?”
“Yup. I survived three more bad rotten lousy things. And I’m still here.”
“Wow,” she said, looking impressed. “Next time I come home it’ll be, like, ‘WARRIOR x34.’”
“Babe,” said I, “we’ll be up to ‘WARRIOR x420.’ Prepare yourself.”
She gazed at me with what I thought was adoration. I swelled with pride.
“I have to go to the bathroom,” she said, patiently.
I live on the Dork-Warrior Continuum.
{ 25 comments… read them below or add one }
I live on the Superhero-Loser Continuum myself. I think that makes us neighbors.
Dork back at ya!
Isn’t texting terrific? I love that I don’t have to actually use the phone. And you have tons of friends… you’ve got friends you never even met
Lucky Dork!
~H.
It’s not such a bad continuum to live on, is it?
Hey ~ I live there, too!
We’re probably neighbors who haven’t even met yet.
You have an awesome kid, BTW.
But you knew that.
Dorkdom is clumsy and creative and my security code is “NO PU” … ha! Maybe Life is giving you a week’s break since you just cleared the minefield out back last week.
Hmm, it’s kinda fun to replace “NO S**T” with “NO PU”! Or is that too dorky?
I have been called ‘weird’ all my life, and I have always taken it as a compliment.
My mom once called me a “crazy little freak”. I kind of like it. Go get ‘em Dork-Warrior!
I would say it’s better to be a dork warrior than a nine month pregnant woman chasing her two year old son around the neighbor’s house. Because that’s what I am today. I think he’s still running around, stepping right in the dog crap. Because that is how he rolls.
i worked with a woman in atlanta named Dorcas, which is actually the name of a flower and i love different names, she also was one of the coolest, nicest people i’ve ever met… but calling someone dorcas is tough to do with a straight face.
Warrior Dork. Love it.
This is so cool! You are such a strong woman and I’m so glad that Sophie noticed. Good for you, Warrior!
And by the way, you are SO not a dork!
Don’t keep track of all that goes wrong. Keep track of all that goes right. Grace in the cracks.
Nah, for me, it helps to say, SURVIVED THAT ONE. As the numbers get more impressive, I get to feel all bad-ass-er and bad-ass-er!
I admire the way you deal with your kids and with dorkable days. For a minute there I read the security code as ‘dork’ and nearly choked, but it turns out to be ‘dopa’ and that is one end of the continum I am on. Not sure what is at the other end.
There are certain members of the castle that are also dorks. They might have the same name as you. They also might actually answer to this name upon occasion, but only because it brings great laughter from the peanut gallery.
That’s almost derriere, right? Dork and warrior? Let’s just call you a fine ass, k love?
Do dork warriors get nifty costumes?
You’re the coolest dork ever. If you texted me, I’d text back, but it might take a few hours because I am still trying to figure out punctuation. Do you know how to make a question mark on a phone? ‘Cos I don’t. But other then that, I am way cool.
PS: I love the keeping track of warrior moments. That’s kind of life changing right there. Thanks. You really do rock you know.
I think you will find, the more you probe, that we are all this way. All women warriors worried that the world finds us wanting in some way. (Wow, try and say that five times fast)
Do you know that your kid is brilliant? Seriously that makes you not a dork.
It might be your friends are dorks like me and don’t recognize the little chirrup their phones make when a text message arrives or haven’t even figured out where the text inbox is on the control panel….from one dork to another.
I love this conversation! And I have dork days constantly, like many, many, many in a row!
What a great companion for a dork! Hilarious and adorable – so, that would be hilaridorable. Yeah…I’m a dork too.
You got me with this one. Glad to find you – the Warrior-Dork Continuum rocks…