The oldie but goodie that started it all: WEEP WEEP NUDE GIRLS

WEEP WEEP NUDE GIRLS, written on October 1st, 2005, deserves to get out more, I think.

He who Googles for ‘cheerleader panties’ is not lost. Unless Google sends him here. Then he is most assuredly lost.

Please join me in a moment of silence for the unfortunate souls who have been devastated by failed Google searches that led them here to breed ‘em and weep. You did not ask to come here, Fetish Man and Plushie Boy and Epileptic Crisis Woman. But you will not be forgotten, either.

These are actual search strings that have landed people at breed ‘em and weep. I did not make them up. I could not make them up if I tried. I am not talking dirty to you.

I must ask that you remain silent until all the failed search categories have been properly acknowledged.

SADLY, RON BLACK’S AT IT AGAIN
penis extender
superbird
my wife laughs at my small penis
wife need large penis
make your own penis extender
sex whilst sleeping

HE RIDES AGAIN
long man of wilmington penis

WORST WAY TO SPEND AN AFTERNOON
dog body paint

VERY DIFFERENT AFTER THE BODY PAINT
what does a peak a poo dog look like

AMERICAN KENNEL CLUB PEAK A POO GUIDELINES
no breasts

IN THE BALLPARK
hi i’m jenny
writing about art
cool bedtime stories
barbie and ken wedding
birds and the bees
define moonbat
haiku about a family
heartbroken by the world
squalor survivors
cranberry storm door
tattletales
butt girdle
i just met the funniest girl
life in a hooverville

STILL IN THE BALLPARK
what a paragraph looks like to someone who is dyslexic

OUT OF THE BALLPARK
most limber woman
definition of sizzle my nizzle
no breasts

SOMEONE KICK HIM IN HIS BALLPARK
sluts being trained
thong sluts

THANKS THAT’S MUCH BETTER
nice figured sluts

A HYPHEN AND HE LIVES BUT SHOULDN’T, A COMMA AND THE TALIBAN EVISCERATES HIM WHILE WE CHEER FROM THE SIDELINES
come covered sluts

HE’S A REGULAR AT ALL THE PLUSHIE CONVENTIONS
toon nudity toon breast
cartoon tongues

SHE’LL NEED NEW SHOES BY MORNING
kitten heels scheisse girl

HEY, WHATEVER TURNS YOU ON
weep weep nude girls

SEEK AND YE MIGHT FIND
how to fold clothes
how do i get rid of canine flatulence
how do i get rid of unpleasant smells in my freezer
cat poop smear help

SEEK AND YE MIGHT NOT FIND
get the perfect husband want

SEEK AND YES WE HAVE NO BANANAS
how can i forgive my wife larger penis

BUT MAY WE SUGGEST A HEART-TO-HEART WITH THE GUY WHO RUNS THE
mikveh

IF EVERYTHING ELSE FAILS
valium where is it made

IF THE VALIUM DOESN’T WORK THERE’S ALWAYS
lauren sanchez nose
tantra positions stick figures

YOU ARE NOT ALONE
the universe is out to get me

CAN YOU BE A LITTLE MORE SPECIFIC
chopin sex therapist
make his penis bald
movie of a doctor like man’s penis

TAKE YOUR PHENOBARBITAL ASAP
smelling the toast

THE QUESTION
creative sixth wedding anniversary

THE ANSWER
gifts of iron
victoria secret dressing room
pretty red panties
pleather lingerie
under the table panty shots
topless body paint
temporary tattoos eyebrows
nude dinner
naked masquerade
naked hot tubbing
one point cinnamon buns
ebonics shizzle

THE HAROLD PINTER AWARD GOES TO
name is alaska

THE CONTROL-FREAK AWARD GOES TO
bridesmaid cut her hair

HE MEANT TO TYPE ‘BOOBIES’
a woman’s worth is greater than rubies

NICE TRY ON THAT DISABILITY THING
nickel allergy laptop

ALSO LIKES TO SAY ‘MY BAD’
high school cheerleaders nude oops
oops panties

I’LL PASS ON THE FAMILY REUNION THIS YEAR, THANKS
funny father in law
all about second cousins
wife breed sex
problem with daughter in law
grandmothers nude
father in law bra
tutu son or brother or boy
breed your daughter

UNLESS THE FAMILY REUNION WILL ALSO FEATURE
tractor-pulling porn

MOST LIKELY TO MEET AN UNDERCOVER COP SOON
school cheerleader blog pic

GOOD LUCK WITH THAT
raping mermaids