She says it better than I can: Part Two

Both of her essays are just amazing—And while I think you could say it as well, I hope you aren’t having to and that life allows you more breathing room, soon.

As I was reading her second essay, I really felt for her. How we feel the need to justify to rude people. But, I am glad she didn’t answer that woman because she’s right, nothing would have been good enough and it would have led to more rudness. What she says is totally relatable even if I haven’t yet lived through some of those things. Jenn, I wish things were easier for you and I hope they are soon. I’m glad you have your mother close during this time.

JUST A REMINDER: WE CAN ALL HELP! NO MATTER HOW SMALL OR LARGE, EVERY LITTLE BIT CAN HELP HER. PLEASE CONSIDER DONATING EVEN $10.00 FOR THE JOY YOU HAVE GOTTEN FOR FREE ALL THIS TIME READING HER BLOG. THANK YOU.

first of all, LOVE the picture. There’s something about it… I can’t put words to it. So I’ll just leave it at that.
And I have thoroughly enjoyed these links to Heather Ryan, so spot on. I remember the stares while I held my WIC checks in the check-out, the sweat dripping down my neck and the heat rising up my face as the cashier ever-so-slowly figured out what to do! UGH. Not fun. I knew I was being sized-up from anyone who noticed… “she doesn’t look POOR.” AAAAAAHHHH….
Thank you.

I’m so sick to death of people passing judgment and looking down on people who get welfare. I have been through some very difficult times, and have had to get on welfare. I had food stamps. I had WIC. And every time I had to use my benefits, I felt so deeply ashamed. But I did it because I had kids depending on me. I felt so many people looking down on me, behaving towards me as if I were taking that money straight form their pockets, like I stayed home all day eating chocolates paid for with my foodstamps while I watched soaps and they worked hard supporting my parasitic existence. God, I felt so humiliated. Never would I dream of making someone feel less than because they had to get WIC or foodstamps, never would I dream of denying a person food just because they didn’t work, never would I make a person feel ashamed because they had to take charity. There are people who abbuse the system. I have met a few of them. But most that use it legitimately need it. Because everyone goes through hard times, and there are many who don’t have friends and family that can help them along.

I think as a nation were terrified of what it means to be poor, it goes against the American Dream, and we’d rather believe that poor people are lazy (though they’re generally doing the hardest, thankless jobs that nobody else wants to do.)
My mom raised me as a single mother pay check to pay check, and while we always had a roof over our heads and clothes on our backs, it’s hard not to feel poor when you’re that close to the edge.
I understand Jenn why it’s hard to write about… hard to feel on the brink and still have so much to be thankful for, but really wondering what’s around the next corner.
I’m glad you have the support and love in your life that you have. At the same time, you are going through a tremendously difficult period.
I think you are just as talented and amazing as Heather, and so brave to put yourself on the line for your readers and share your personal, challenging experience, even in the midst of it all.
I hope things turn around for you soon, as much so you can have some breathing room.
You’re handling things beautifully even if it doesn’t always feel that way!

Thanks so much for linking to these. They were fantastic and eye-opening.

My other comment disappeared when I got the security word wrong. Grrrrr.

The Clif’s notes – I feel ya. I feel ya Jenn, I feel ya Heather. My husband and I have 5 degrees between us, and yet we can’t afford hubcaps, haircuts, fresh fruits and vegetables, or meat. 6 figure student loan debt will do that to ya. And anyway, although we have about $75,000 of open credit on credit cards (which we killed ourselves to get down to a zero balance while he’s still in grad school), we so far have been able to resist the temptation to broadcast SUCCESS and ATTRACTIVENESS and SAFETY with new clothes, furniture, accent pillows, pedicures, etc. It seems that our neighbors would rather have us be tens of thousands of dollars in debt and looking swanky, than living within our means but with duct taped shoes and hand-patched coats. We are a reminder of what they could be, and what many of them should be. And we are one large unexpected bill away from the food bank ourselves.

There are more of us than it appears. That’s what my husband always tell me as I tearfully dress myself in the same skirt and (stapled, patched, worn) Payless shoes that I’ve had since my freshman year of college ten years ago, going to the trenches at work with all the fresh and sparkly AnnTaylor-dressed girls here in the corporate world.

I hate that I can’t help you. I hate that I’m in no position to even think of offering financial assistance to someone so wonderful as you. Please know that I do keep you in my thoughts and prayers.