A turning point for me, 8 years after my divorce, was when a friend asked me how I was doing, and I said that I was ok, that I didn’t regret any of it, and that the things I’d learned since the divorce were worthwhile. I was glad for them. Not glad for the split nor the pain, but glad for the forward progress afterward.

So it *is* possible to get there. I won’t say everyone does, nor can I say if you will, but it is possible.

“over it?” nah, I don’t think one gets over it, but one can integrate that aspect of themselves with other aspects and become someone new, someone for which that’s a part but not the defining part.

Hang in there.

thank you for sharing

thank you from my open heart

I love that you told them to F Off in Need to Say and Love. I like that aggressiveness in you.

I love what you said to “Dave Smith” at the end your meeting, well done!

As for Reading Pablo Neruda to Carlita and the others relating to the dog and cat. I say keep the cat, its just being a kitten right now and enjoying life. The dog and cat will straighten things out. All animals have to establish a pecking order, the kitten is just to young to realize this yet. My bet is that the cat will learn to avoid putting itself in a position that the dog can take advantage of. She will also learn how to tell the dog when enough is enough and to get out her space. The dog will figure out when he/she can push the cats buttons or when its best to leave well enough alone.

I enjoyed the picture at the end of the ABC’s, your very pretty, I wish you would post more pictures of yourself to go along with the posts.

And One, Two, One – I think some people are bitter because they read how much you love(d) David and just can’t imagine being that much in love. I know I never have been, but I find it fascinating to read what it’s like to be.

You sound much better than last time I had a chance to read your blog. Perhaps I’m jumping the gun, but when I read your posts today, I felt an awakening or emergence of your Self coming back.

One day at a time,
Anon

I just counted, and it is more then a dozen years since I was dismissed from my husband’s life. God, that was – is – how it feels. Just….turned away. And I think in the end, though I would give anything to have avoided the heartbreak, my life will be all the better for it. I am saying those words and cringing….but it’s true, I think. I will never allow myself to doubt or second guess decisions made in the past. All decisions, all paths, all lead to my children, my home, my relationships today.

You are saying all the things I needed to say then, but didn’t have the words to express. Thank you for sharing your feelings, it is helping me to process mine as well. Another kind of closure for me. I think it is going to be a lifelong process.

I was in a similar place to you at at 33 and then again at 39. But you write about it far more eloquently than I could have.

I am now 52 and couldn’t be happier. Alone. Not even sure I WANT another partner at this point. But never say never.

I’ve read it takes about 5 years to work your way through the emotions of divorce (and that’s if you ex doesn’t drag it out for four years – not that I’d know anything about THAT.), so give yourself time. As Asarte said, the new normal will be different, but it will feel normal, I guarantee it.

I’m right there with you, babe. Although the pain of my divorce has added a sprinkling of true bitterness, as well. But I am deeply bewildered by relationships- any relationships- that endure. I look at couples in the park and wonder, “HOW THE HELL ARE YOU MAKING IT WORK?” and also “HOW THE HELL DID YOU FIND EACH OTHER IN THE FIRST PLACE?” and then the bitterness rises up and I think, “TAKE YOUR STUPID LOVE AND CHOKE ON IT.”

Eventually, I am sure, my belief in lasting love will return. But for now, in this painful, tender place, I am just very, very confused. I wish more than anything for a real-life friend like you to talk to about this sort of thing. But reading your words helps tremendously, and I thank all of my lucky stars in heaven to know that I am not alone in these feelings. My life is less lonely knowing you are out there. I don’t know if that means anything to you, but it sure means a lot to me.

Thank you.