On Stuff

ON RENAMING AND FINDING A REASON TO SAY ‘CRIKEY’

Crikey, perhaps it’s time to rename the blog.

Perhaps:

“Weep and Maybe Refrain from Further Breeding until You Stop Weeping on Your Steering Wheel, Get a Job, and Figure Out a Passionate, Fulfilling Life of Family, Creation, Obscene Bling and Pimped-Out Cars***.”

[***"A Pimped-Out Car" being, at this point, a car with a driver's side window that goes up and down, and a CD player instead of a cassette player. I have not yet learned how to Dream Big. I am working on that.]

ON ANNOUNCING THE RENAMING

So, loveys.

Welcome, today, to “Weep and Maybe Refrain from Further Breeding until You Stop Weeping into Your Houseplants, Get a Job, and Figure Out a Life of Obscene Bling and Pimped-Out Cars!”

Nah, it just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

ON MY CURRENT STATUS

My current status:

I am, currently, 1) not weeping 2) not breeding 3) not attempting to breed.

But I am breathing.

It’s a bit spotty, because my asthma has been acting up. But my lungs are, basically, working. I am letting them work.

ON WHERE I AM TODAY

I am out and about.

I am in a coffeeshop, typing to you.

ON WHO IS HERE

Right now, I am sitting next to a real-life dear one who reminds me that I am here. It is good to have a real-life dear one pat you fondly on the head and say with words and without words, You are here. I see you. All is not well, but it is well enough. We are doing our best, and the sun is shining brightly enough so that we must move our laptops.

ON WHAT I AM DRINKING

I just drank a Pumpkin Spice Latte. Because that, too, said to me, You are here. It’s autumn. This used to be your favorite time of the year. It doesn’t have to be today, not this autumn, but maybe it will be again someday.

Well, I drank most of my Pumpkin Spice Latte. Some of it, I sloshed all over the saucer and the table. Because I am extra-clumsy these days. To the point of Three Stooges comedy.

ON WHAT HAPPENED THIS WEEK

I did some weird things this week. Some funny, some sad, some funny-sad, and some Britney.

Some things, I told people about. Some things, I didn’t.

But I also saw eight shooting stars one night, lying on my back in damp grass with my friend, in the middle of a deserted Little League baseball field.

I told Sophie about that. She asked me if I made eight wishes. I told her I didn’t make any wishes. I told her I forgot I could do that.

She shook her head, disappointed in me. Grownups squander everything, was the look.

Next time, I will try to remember that shooting stars come with wishes.

ON BRUSHING THINGS

I brushed my teeth this morning.

I did not brush my hair, though. Right now there are snarly fuzzy bits in the back. I couldn’t find a brush this morning.

ON SHOWERING

But I showered last night. My brother and some others of you dear souls have recommended a shower a day. I agree with this recommendation. I liked it even before I went all nutty-cuckoo-what-the-shizzle-girlfriend and became all soulful and shit.

I am a nighttime shower person. I like going to bed clean.

ON CLOTHING

I am wearing a ratty heathered-aqua long-sleeved shirt. I had a gigantic red-and-white stripey sweater on too, but there is so much sunlight in the coffeeshop, I had to take it off.

I am not runway-ready. I am not really ready for more than the next keystroke. And the next. Ooh, I got there. And here.

ON PLANTS WITH MOXIE

On the table there sits a spider plant in a Dixie Cup. I have already knocked it over twice, but it looks like it has moxie, might go the distance.

ON WHY THERE IS A PLANT IN A DIXIE CUP AT THE COFFEESHOP WITH ME

I brought it in from the car so it wouldn’t get cold. It’s a cutting from my therapist’s plant. I saw him today, as I usually do on Thursdays. He’s smart and thoughtful and kind and knows me really well by now. He gave me the little plant. He knows I’m a sucker for tiny living things that are trying to take root.

ON ANOTHER PERSON I SAW TODAY

Also: I saw another dear person this morning who reminded me how I got to be here, and why it makes sense that I am here, and why I am good (not the least of which is that I recommend fabulous mineral makeup that works for everyone).

ON WHAT I WOULD TELL YOU IF YOU WERE HERE AT THE COFFEESHOP WITH ME

If you were here in the coffeeshop with me, I would tell you some things.

I had a good job interview on Tuesday, for some freelance work, maybe a regular gig for the New Year.

I am going to up-up-upstate New York next weekend, to be a theatre respondent for some university productions.

I am taking a silver metal clay workshop in December.

I am then going to take another silver metal clay workshop, one full day apprenticing with a jewelry artist in her studio in Connecticut.

ON WHY I AM GOING TO LEARN ABOUT SILVER METAL CLAY

I am going to learn about silver metal clay (PMC) because eventually I want to make beautiful silver jewelry and amulets that I will sell happily so I can live in the fashion to which I would like to become accustomed, and forget that I ever learned how to type in Typing Class at Saint Basil Academy.

But I will press magic words and symbols into the silver jewelry I make. You can buy rings and necklaces from me and I will personalize them just for you.

ON ANOTHER THING I WOULD TELL YOU ABOUT IF YOU WERE HERE

I am going with lovely Nanette to do some volunteer work with homeless dogs in Pennsylvania soon.

ON OTHER THINGS I AM GOING TO DO WITH NANETTE

And then Nanette and I are going to have margaritas and talk to Nanette’s donkeys.

ON WHO NANETTE IS

Nanette is the reason Eli the Moose came to live with me. She and I have never met, and it is long overdue.

ON WHERE NANETTE LIVES, BECAUSE IF YOU WERE HERE AT THE COFFEESHOP YOU WOULD SEE HOW SUSCEPTIBLE I AM TO OFFERING UP TANGENTIAL INFORMATION

She lives in Massachusetts like me.

ON HALLOWEEN

The girls are dressing up as a mermaid (Sophie) and a fairy (H-Belle). David handmade their costumes.

I am maybe not giving out candy this year. Maybe D and I will just walk around with the girls and make sure there are no razor blades in the apples in their stash. Or any of the melamine-poisoned Pirate Gold Coins. Which is for real, yo.

Maybe taking candy and not giving it is okay, for one year. Maybe that is enough.

ON THINGS BEING ENOUGH

Maybe this is enough, for one day, for one blog post.

ON YOU

I love you.

ON WHOEVER SAID “IF YOU SAY JUST ONE PRAYER IN YOUR LIFE, LET IT BE ‘THANK YOU’”

I like that person.

Thank you. YOU you.