Comments on: Minivan breakdown: one year later

By: daniel

daniel — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 22:16:14 +0000

you nailed it.
you got it totally right.

and maybe that’s the difference
between depression and sadness.

that in depression is there is no future,
no way to see any other way.

and yet…

(i love any yet, because it says everything
that needs to be said here)

and yet
you wake up every morning
until you don’t.

and you live.
crappily maybe
but you live.

and then one day, maybe,
it’s not absolute crap.
and one minute or year or century
you look back and see what was the dip.

or you don’t.

thanks for waking up today.

By: banteringblonde

banteringblonde — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 14:05:15 +0000

You use many familiar words… the children and the family – thank you for putting into words so many that I never have.

By: SIL Julie

SIL Julie — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 22:36:53 +0000

I would try to explain to people that when I am in axious state i say, “THE SKY IS FALLING! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO???”, but when I’m depressed I say, “the sky is falling and there is nothing to do.” In a very very little voice…

By: Chelle

Chelle — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 14:11:28 +0000

“…but like my Dad used to say, shit in one hand, wish in the other, see which one fills up first.”
Jenn, my brother painted the walls with shit from my nappy when we were just babies. Shit happens. But it doesn’t always have to be bad shit. Sometimes it’s good shit. It’s just a matter of weighing up the good and bad.
Your blog, your courage, your strength and your love for your family are amazing. All that weighs more than anything in this universe. One day I hope you feel the tilt of the scales in your favour.

By: patois

patois — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 20:35:18 +0000

My takeaway?

“Don’t worry,” he says. “I’m coming there with very low expectations.”

And he still comes.

Hooray!

By: slouching mom

slouching mom — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 02:23:39 +0000

Those of us who are clinically depressed and have children are blessed and cursed—we have someone to live for, and we have someone to live for.

I am cringing. How well I understand this.

By: elsimom

elsimom — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 21:01:47 +0000

The fact that you are still here, loving your girls, is the biggest, and most critical accomplishment. However imperfect you may be (as we all are) – you. are. here. loving. them. That is not to be underestimated or minimized. I am looking forward to the two year anniversary of the minivan breakdown – because that will mean that you have been here another whole year, loving your girls. I hope with a fervence that cannot be expressed in words (I’m one of those optimists) that when I read next year’s minivan post, you will also be able to say that you feel better. Peace unto you.

By: Stephanie

Stephanie — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 16:55:56 +0000

What you say is true, and it is sad bleak, but there’s nothing to say, no making it better. THe one thing that I try to remind myself of, to keep me going through those blackest of hours that turn into days, weeks, months….There is no such thing as permanent stasis. This, whatever THIS is, cannot last forever. It will change – and change for people like you and me and countless others can only mean something better. At least that’s what I hope.

By: Jen

Jen — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 03:50:23 +0000

All you have to do is try, and you’ve been doing tons of that this year! I think you’ve accomplished a lot.

I’m sure you’ve gotten that email where the man comes home to his house wrecked and asks his wife what happened and she says, “Every day you ask me what I did all day, and today I didn’t do it.” So, if we manage to maintain for an entire year, that’s pretty damn good, isn’t it? I think so.

By: A Granddaughter

A Granddaughter — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 02:09:35 +0000

You are eloquent, even in sadness, in despair. Your post opens the door to the feelings inside of depression, something we yearn for others to understand while standing in the blackness. I adore you and your family, Jenn. Thinking of you all and sending warm hugs from the west coast. Much love to you, Jen