So in my continuing quest to upgrade the slime trail of my career to a slightly more 3D installation—maybe a lumpy sludge trail—I joined LinkedIn, the Facebook for “professionals.”
As a longtime freelance writer who’s taken on more random assignments than a windshield takes on bug species, let me just be clear: it ain’t no easy feat to list what you’ve done as a freelancer and make yourself sound remotely stable or solid, no matter how talented you are. Because you wind up filling in the “How long did you work at this position?” boxes by going, Er, let’s see, that article took me a month to write, so, January 2004 to February 2004? And that next one, that was a two-week gig, so….
Which, of course, is exactly what employers are dying to see. “Here’s our shining star! Look at the way she lurched from gig to gig like a one-legged drunk on a pub crawl!”
Doesn’t matter how much work you do, how many hours you spend interviewing subjects, how many days you spend editing and tweaking and crafting—it’s just a harder road, if you’re not working for one place.
So I thought it was a plenty smart, totally kosher move on my part to ask the editor-in-chief of a Big Magazine in Our Little Pond for an endorsement. I thought this was Proactive and Career-Savvy. I’d never bothered him for a recommendation before. But I delivered four feature articles for the magazine, and they wuz gooooood, my peeps!
In other words: At no point did I scrawl REDRUM in my own feces on a wall of the Big Magazine in Our Little Pond’s office and sing, “Sign, Sealed, Delivered” buck-naked with a daisy tucked behind one ear.
So I wasn’t exactly prepared for Mr. Editor-in-Chief’s response today, which was:
Dear Jenn:
I’m sorry, I won’t be able to do this.
Sincerely,
Mr. Editor-in-Chief
Big Magazine in Our Little Pond
Really?
On LinkedIn, an endorsement can be one sentence. I was not asking for a letter of reference. I was not asking him to wait by the phone to recommend me to any potential employer. I was simply asking, straight-out and old school, for ONE or TWO sentences that would acknowledge the fact that I had, in fact, worked for Big Magazine in Our Little Pond several times, and that they had, in fact, published my articles.
I’m sorry, I won’t be able to do this.
Wait, no, seriously? Won’t? Then why not say why not?
Or can’t? That busy? His Facebook update at the time read, “Oh no, I just got Google Buzz. This could well be the beginning of the beginning of the end of the beginning.” I guess dude is busy.
I just wanted one crummy sentence of recommendation. He’s a writer himself. That’s the part that knocks me out. Because presumably, he actually knows how hard it is out there.
I have four sentences: Buddy, I spoke up for YOU. I talked up your magazine, whenever possible. I praised it, and the people there. I interviewed my subjects on behalf of your mag with intelligence and professionalism and moxie.
Just. Not. Cool.
*****
I wrote back after the initial intense wave of shame and nausea subsided (they hate me he hates me when did they all begin hating me? did he hear about Mousegate? when did I suck and why do I suck and why did they not tell me?).
I simply wrote:
Is there a reason?
A few hours later, and nope, he’s not offering a reason. Google Buzz has him by the gullet, possibly.
Now, I’m a reasonable sort. Sure, I’d like to think it’s because he’s got cancer and several days to live, and he’s got other things to do, like making peace with all of the other writers who once sought him out for a kind word. Or I’d like to think that his limbs have shriveled up from typing his new book too close to his microwave, and that he can only peck out a few words at a time now with his nose—which leaves him, of course, exhausted and drooling into his anti-radiation poisoning pills and vodka.
I could accept that information.
I would have been okay if he’d simply ignored the request.
But actually taking the time to say no, with no other information provided—that leaves me feeling pretty lousy, pretty sure that a gym membership and pole dancing classes are not a bad way to go. That freelance writing is just not my gig.
Unfortunately, it’s the cat that keeps coming back. And I keep taking it in. Because it’s my only marketable talent, unless you count eyeliner application and Haz-Mat-level dog poo cleanup and an MFA in Acting and Playwriting. Oh. Wait. Scratch the last bit. I said marketable, as in marketable in 2010, as in haven’t seen anyone tossing Elizabethan coins to burlap-sack-garbed thespians in some time.
So maybe I’m down to just the eyeliner and dog poop, and I don’t know it yet.
*****
When my life started to go down the crapper a few years’ back, and the shampoo bottles began singing those arias, I did turn down freelance work from the magazine. And now I’m wondering if that’s the reason there’s no endorsement. She’s wack, yo!
(I’m also wondering if I forgot to wear deodorant the day I went to a magazine mixer, and that’s the reason.)
As far as I knew, I was still on good terms with the editor-in-chief. He accepted my LinkedIn invite. I didn’t take Logic 101 at Grinnell, but seems to me you don’t link with someone on LinkedIn if you don’t like what they do. Uhh?
Or is that just my lacy naivete peeping out? Caught you looking.
No, seriously, am I missing some LinkedIn etiquette? Was there an FAQ I missed? I was all up for trading good recommendations with colleagues. I thought that was what people do there. Am I a LinkedOut doofus?
I recognize that some might consider it (further) career suicide to even bring up this minor development, in Our Little Pond. But living where I live has turned out for me to be effing career suicide anyway. I wasn’t going to tell you guys about this, but it makes me miss the days I worked full-time for Big Butt Magazine in NYC. They appreciated my assets.
At the time, I didn’t realize that I was living the dream, and that’s my bad. So what if my best friend from high school and I used masking tape in our studio apartment to delineate imaginary walls? It was a nice regular paycheck in a city that shows up on TV all the time. That kind of rocked.
I’m going to try to find my old boss on LinkedIn RIGHT NOW and see if I can get her endorsement. Well, first she’d have to be willing to admit she’s heard of Big Butt Magazine. But, oh, if she did, she of her four-inch-long glossy orange fingernails! Suddenly I am feeling downright nostalgic.
Big Butt probably get me further, careerwise, anyway. It occurs to me only now: Who wants to hear about Our Little Pond, when they can hear about Mendi Teats (loved her, honestly, the sweetest gal, she brought me Hershey’s Kisses) and her fabulous rear (it really was) and what all the boys at the state pen want to do to it (not real creative, those fellers, but yes, some of the letters are real)?
Live and learn. When I get my book published and Oprah asks where I honed my writing chops, Big Butt Magazine will get the nod, not your mag, Editor-in-Chief of Big Magazine in Our Little Frickin’ Pond. Big Butt, you and I understood each other. And you’ll get my exclusive photos, too, when I get famous and pretend to go all “unaware” on my equally big-assed yacht. Providing you’ve got a good airbrusher on hand.
Yeah. And I want to say thank you, too. To the good folks out there. Thank you HUGELY (like, BIG BUTTEDLY) to my colleagues that I respect and adore who have endorsed the blog over at LinkedIn. I really, really appreciate it. You’re classy.
Not assy.
{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }
if I had any idea what LinkedIn was, I would endorse you. Me internet stupid.
Hey Jenn, I don’t know if you already figured it out, but if I were you I would just lump the Freelance Writer phase into 1 blurb, from 20heckalongago – present, then list the pieces you did in the job description.
And Mr. Editor can suck it. What a buzzkill, literally! Wakka wakka.
Jenn, if anything I just gained a new level of respect for you for sharing a bit of your experience with Big Butt Magazine. While I haven’t read that one in particular, I am definitely familiar with similar publications… which you could probably guess from my FB profile.
But anyway… yeah, Big Editor Little Pond is a jerk. He’s probably busy “googling” himself.
I couldn’t figure out what to do with the invite. Is there a stay-at-home-mom-trying-to-figure-out-what-her-next-career-will-be category so I can join and accept your invite? xoxo-k
Here’s to hoping you get some good endorsements. You’ve TOTALLY earned them.
I’m with katieface. But maybe I’ll swallow my SAHM shame (my own hang up–I know it is a perfectly legitimate choice) and accept the invite just so I can give you a ringing although professionally meaningless endorsement…
i’ve been on linked in for a few years and yeah, i haven’t seen much in terms of any sort of results besides getting lots of invites from co-workers. you kind of learn who is looking for a job.
But you can just link to your site, or to the urls of your clips. Don’t bother with all the boxes. If you say “self-employed” or Freelance, you can just skip the other stuff.
The groups can be helpful as well.
But unless the endorsements are from actual editors who know you, I’d just skip them. Most people don’t really read them.
I would have liked to called him on it. “Wait, you don’t even remember who the heck I am, do you?”
I’d LinkIn with you, but I guess I’ve lost all my corporate street cred since I spend most of my time in supermarkets and preschool parking lots.
I think this is a little too cute.:
“(None of your beeswax if I’ve let myself go or not since 2006. You’ll need to upgrade for that information.) ”
You’re reaching a different audience than at your blog.
http://www.linkedin.com/in/jennmattern
let him eat ass cheese bread!
I know nothing about LinkedIn, and sheepishly wish my butt was magazine-material.
Freelance writing is fun for while you’re at the coffee shop, writing some kick ass stuff; the rest of it kind of sucks. I just got a letter from a major mothering magazine who had been “retaining” my piece for TWO YEARS: culled and dismissed.
What would Pa Ingalls do? Rifle butt through the bathroom window while snooty editor showers?
I had a similar experience with a professor I had in college. I was suffering a serious case of depression (which she knew about) during my first class with her, and got a C+ in the class. Which I thought was pretty good considering I was goign through med changes and such. By the time everything was under control the next semester and I got an A- in her next class, I assumed she would know that obviously the C+ was uncharacteristic of me. When I went to ask her for a recommendation and reminded her about my previous situation, she said “I’m not comfortable giving you one.” I was like what? Why? She wouldn’t give me a reason. And I was standing right in front of her. Don’t worry, some people like a power trip. The Mr. Editor is a douche, just like my old professor was a B.
I’ll gladly recommend you to the moon and back, but I’m not sure my fangirl-approach would really be very helpful. OMG I looove Jenn! Lovelovelove! HIRE HER!
(I really do)
Whoa! Why did I not expect to get exactly what you were saying when I clicked that link? It was rather…startling.
Anyway, I wouldn’t sweat it about this guy not giving you the recommendation. Actually, I would be totally freaking out just like you, but there is a part of me saying that isn’t really the right reaction. And I admit that part would be absolutely silent if it really was me rather than you, but maybe something in you would be saying it instead.
No, really, there are some people who are uncomfortable giving recommendations because they feel completely inadequate and at a loss for words. Yes, even writers. I have been happy to write letters of recommendation for friends and former students, but I do feel overwhelmed by it. You’re being asked to summarize someone’s qualifications and attributes and it could mean the difference between them being considered for a job or not. For me it would be even more overwhelming if I was asked to just give one or two short sentences. It’s the same pressure I feel when writing titles or captions or a quick note in a greeting card. Assign me an essay or a research paper over a greeting card any day.
What I’m saying is, maybe it really is him and not you. Either way, you are a fantastic writer. You know it and your readers know it. I’m sure if you actually did write for Big Butt Magazine you made even that interesting.
I can’t resist the Sir Mix-a-Lot segue here, Jenn!
I like BigButtMag and I cannot lie
That Editor-in-Chief might deny
When a girl walks in with an EM-EF-EH
And a lotta smart things to say:
I get LinkedIn!!
omg. simon, i heart thee.
Here’s my experience with LinkedIn:
The coolest blogger I know invites me to be part of her “professional network”. Her job is listed as “writer” for “breedemandweep.com”. With my brand-new blog, I am thrilled: “Wow, Jenn thinks I’m like a real blogger now! I’ll join!” I then have the audacity to call MYSELF a “writer” for MY blog.
I realize that it was a generic invite to all and sundry. I become intimidated by the new social network and generally paralyzed. Miscellaneous acquaintances want to link with me, and I realize that all of them think that I think that I’m something professional. Continued paralysis.
I’m sorry that that guy was such a jerk, but your page looks great. Glad that someone linked to it–I’m afraid to log in.
one of things i find wild about the internet is how all these sites kind of bring a new potential arena of feelings of rejection. I mean, objectively, it’s like a click, a superficial thumbs up, and yet when you don’t get it, it really does hurt. i wonder if it happens more b/c it’s easier to be thoughtless online than if you’re dealing with a real live person (though your readership is especially considerate, i have to say, and remember you’re a real live person.) i’ve heard that countless times about people being hurt that so-and-so didn’t friend them on fb, and so when fb starts charging in july 2010, i’m just going to ditch it. who needs it?
That really bothers me. Screw him!!!
In those little things we can do for people, those little bits of responsibility to other people–some will, some won’t and the people who don’t are just bastards, pure and simple.
I wish I had a better way to put this but I’m sick as a dog right now. I know this type of person and really, this type of person just makes the world a suckier place.
Dude is a dick.
You are hilarious. I wish I had some power in the world where I could buy your work. But I am unemployed. Oh, and without health insurance soon, too.
Now, I must click over and find out more about Simon!
I second (or whatever number) all the people who say Hey you are awesome and Don’t sweat the Recomm Guy.
As a long-time freelance editor, here’s how I suffer LinkedIn:
Create a “job” and a “company” called Freelance Writer. In that big space underneath it (maybe it says Responsibilities?) say something like “Selected Clients/Projects/Whatever. And list them. Maybe even describe them a bit. You want to be clear, but you don’t want to overwhelm Cher Reader.
Also: I don’t list the dates of a freelance project unless it’s a long-term assignment.
Finer points: You can categorize your freelance work thusly:
One big list as mentioned above- or-
Categories: Freelance 2006-2009; Previous work 1999-2006 -or-
Categories of your own making: Nonfiction vs fiction. Print vs web. Long-term freelance vs Short-term freelance.
Still finer points: Lastly, of course you simply list your projects/clients. Or you might want to explain them in a few words. If you have had big clients, no explanation needed. For small ones you can say Pequot Press (regional travel guides). Or if you have writing projs, maybe you want to describe them a bit with your usual flair. Get the reader/hirer interested in reading your stuff and eager to see more.
Also use LinkedIn to LINK to your sites etc.
I think LinkedIn is not designed for the eccentric or the peripatetic but you *can* make it work for you. ALSO, do keep in mind that the landscape of some employers’ minds is shifting from “You must have years in one job” to “Bring me all your experience, your wisdom, your depth and breadth.” If you think they want X, and you don’t have X but try to add a leg to a Y to make it look like an X, it shows.
Take Linked’s blank squares and spaces and write what you need to make your work appealing and useful to the people who may want to talk to you further. Your work history is normal. Treat it as such. As a former resume writer, I see countless talented people NOT be granted an interview b/c they do not know how to present themselves in a way that is truthful and engaging to their audience. You can be honest and authentic and interesting. Make your writing history clear and easy to read and you will be in a much better place for this kind of writing-for-hire life.
RECO MAN: When you want someone to write you a rec, remind them of who you are, tell them what you’ve been up to since they last laid eyes on you, and tell them what you need and why. “I need a paragraph explaining I meet deadlines and I write articles about gastrointestinal disorders because I am now applying for/wishing for/bored with…” And “Since you may have only known me in the context of Your Silly Magazine, here’s what I’ve been up to lately.”
Seldom do I hear of LinkedIn people contacting others b/c they have a job that needs to be filled. BUT it seems lots of people use it to say Hey List, here’s what I am looking for and then the List says Oh yeah. Meant to get A Round Tuit thanks for asking. Here’s something I can do for you.
Hope this didn’t waste your eyes. : )
De-lurking to say, I work for a “Big Giant Corporation” and am strictly FORBIDDEN to give anyone a reference, in any way shape or form (even specifically on LinkedIn). So maybe it isn’t anything to do with you at all.