“I like to give you information.”

Hi, dear hearts.

Tonight, I saw H and S for the first time in a week. Maybe a little longer. I’d set up their rooms with some fun new decor, thanks to the help of my mama. Including H’s first big girl bed, and pink glow-in-the-dark butterfly canopies for both girls. I worked hard the past day or so to get their rooms in good shape, extra-pretty.

“I have a big surprise for you,” I said when they came home. “Take a look upstairs.”

They bounded up the stairs. I held my breath. Shrieks of complete and utter little-girl joy ensued. I exhaled. I done good.

They could barely sleep at bedtime, they were so excited. H-Belle kept sitting up to tell me all the things she loved best about her room. “I LOOOOOVE MY CANOPY! I ALWAYS WANTED A CANOPY! WHO GAVE ME THE BED? BABCI? WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING REALLY REALLY NICE FOR HER, MOMMY! MAYBE A NECKLACE! THIS BED IS JUST WHAT I WANTED! I LOVE IT SOOOOOO MUCH! THANK YOU SO MUCH, MOMMY, FOR THE NEW BLANKET! DID YOU GIVE ME THAT? DID YOU GIVE ME THE PRINCESS NIGHTLIGHT? I LOOOOOOVE THE NIGHTLIGHT!”

After I answered her rapid-fire questions, she paused, then said calmly, in a most un-Hattie Belle type fashion, “I like to give you information about stuff.”

After I finally left her sleeping under a cascade of netting and butterflies, I thought: I like to give you (YOU you) information about stuff, too.

I was in the hospital last week for a little less than a week. I’ll have words for it, eventually, but not yet. Am at home now, recuperating, trying to figure out what comes next.

Thank you to everyone who’s been so kind and concerned and full of good words and great soups and muffins and pasta and cookies and music suggestions and books and hugs and help and compassion and cookbooks and chocolate and glass gazing balls and flowers and air-conditioning dismantling and crib-taking-apart-ing and toilet installation and pure, pure love. You make me believe in a God, in something so much more than this this.

I am blessed. Weary, scared, but blessed. Anybody who wants to play Scrabble with me on Facebook? Bring it on. I could use the friendly distraction. These are strange times.

Thanks for being there. I value you more than I can ever tell you. No words will do, not for this.