God, I love my mother.
I save every single one of her emails. I really do. Because God forbid I should ever lose this woman, I cannot bear the thought of also losing the finest emailed, unintentional humor writing on the planet. When she goes, I’ll need to start all over at the beginning, rationing myself an email of hers a day. The day after the funeral I’ll start with Mom’s Email #1, when she nearly took out the fiber optic cables or what-have-you in 17 countries by delightedly spamming her pierogi-rabid horde of Polish-American cousins about Catholic Saint-Swap Pyramid Schemes or some such Thurberesque-Sedaristine combo delight.
I often tell her she is exactly the mother I was supposed to have, and I am exactly the daughter she was supposed to have. It’s coming more clear all the time. Happy Easter, Jesus, and thank you for the technological advances that allow me inside my mother’s dear brain.
Today’s email from Mom, verbatim (sorry, Mom, it’s just too good, I am overtired for no surprise reasons and now cannot stop laughing at 1am):
How did this woman wind up with a $2500 per month mortgage payment to begin with?!! Gah!
However, the rest of the story could be you.
Click the following to access the sent link: “From $70K to food bank, one family’s struggle – CNN.com”
I’m here!
Love, Mom
P.S. I did not include the actual link because it means I will just laugh harder at my own situation and wet the bed and the dog, and who wants to do that at 1am, except, you know, Toddlers Who Pull Off Their Pull-Ups, and really intriguingly perverse people. I like to think I’m intriguingly perverse, but not in a wet-the-bed-and-excite-everyone-on-the-bed sort of way.
At least yet, but who knows what a future holds, really. I am learning to be humble in those matters.
If my mother keeps sending me emails like this (which she will), I will really need to step up the Kegels.
I am so glad you are there, Mom.
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