Eli the Passover Miracle Angel Dog has been with us for almost two weeks now. He and Nina the Schmeen have finally made peace, and except for the occasional growl over a shredded plush octopus or a rawhide chew, they seem to be enjoying each other’s company.
He is a dear, dear, good boy, our Eli. Wants to shake paws with everyone, wants to snuggle, is starting to lose some of his serious countenance and is learning to play with Nina and with us. Beautiful, beautiful gentle temperament.
There are brushstrokes of my beloved F. in Eli. I admit it…it’s a great comfort. I miss F. so very much, but I get the impression he approves of the newcomer. As I was sitting on my bed the other day watching Eli sleep nearby, I suddenly got the sensation that F. was leaning against my left arm, relaxed and smiling, watching over Eli with me.
We love Eli, our big hunka hunka burnin’ shepherd love, and wish we could tell him he’s here to stay. The poor fella has raging separation anxiety. Calm as can be when his peeps are around, but, oh! a nervous wreck when we have to leave him (which hasn’t been too often). He even follows me from room to room. I draw the line at Jenny’s bathroom time, and we gate both of them out of the kitchen during (human) meals, but if he could, he would be glued to one of us every minute of the day.
We found out from his foster mama that he was actually worse when crated, very very very anxious. So we’ve held off on a crate (Fifi: Thank you for paying his vet bill instead). He’s not destructive in a frat-house-party sort of way, just scratches desperately at the door (we thought ahead and drilled Plexiglass over most of the scratch zone). And he barks and cries like we’re leaving him forever.
Which to me seems pretty damn rational, the sign of a smart, sensitive being who’s had a rough few years. God knows how many times people did leave him behind without looking back. The first rescue pics of him looked like he was abandoned somewhere and left to starve to death. Every rib, every knob of his spine showing. He gulps down his food like I have never seen any dog do. It’s heartbreaking. He’s already narrowly escaped death by an attack of bloat, so we have to ration out his food carefully. When his food bowl is empty, he gives us this look:
So, smart, wise, lovely people I depend on so often, what do you know about canine separation anxiety? Have any of you had a crate-phobic rescue dog with a history of neglect and bad don’t-ever-leave-me jitters?
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He really is a love muffin, big old boy. Those eyes drill right into you and then he gently puts that huge paw right up onto your lap.
I hope your readers can weigh in too. Will he always have this separation anxiety or will he finally learn to trust and settle in with his long-term family?
We all need love but those goodbyes are a bummer.
He is quite the beautiful dog! Those eyes are just gorgeous, how do you ever say no to them:)
As far as separation anxiety… I have not read this book myself, so I don’t know if it will be great or not, but I have heard the author speak and she does know what she is talking about with animals. The book is called “I’ll Be Home Soon – How to prevent and Treat Separation Anxiety” by Patricia McConnell and it is only $7 on amazon. She has a really great radio show on some NPR stations and I use to listen every time it was on (but then I moved somewhere that doesn’t play it… silly station.) I would definitely check that book out if you can.
Also, I would say try to make your time away from him almost like a treat for him. Does he have a favorite toy you could give him only when you are leaving? Or maybe you could leave him just for a few minutes to begin with and love on him bunches when you get back? There is always seeing the vet and getting him meds (I know a vet who did have to do that with her german shepherd mix, the poor dog got so anxious she would hurt herself trying to find her humans), but I always think that meds in a situation like this is probably the last resort. (Although speaking with the vet might not be a bad idea since they often deal with situations like this.)
Oh my goodness, I am taking over your blog with this comment! Okay I will shut up now:)
Oh those eyes though! It makes me want to meet you in person just so I can hug your dog:)
I had a lovely shepherd with a similar story. He was not as well behaved as it sounds like Eli is, but he was hardly more than a puppy when I had him. Lovely Sven, stayed with me for nearly all of my labor when I had my daughter – he was so relieved when the midwife arrived and he didn’t feel so responsible anymore!
Shepherds are highly people-oriented and I believe even the most well-adjusted of them tend to suffer from separation anxiety. If you have a shepherd, particularly one who’s been traumatized in this way, it is not a good idea to leave him alone for any length of time, and it’s unrealistic to expect him not to act out the anxiety – on furniture, walls, etc.
It sounds to me like you all are excellent dog owners and are probably not going to ask more of Eli than he can do. I’d provide as much companionship as possible, a bed of his own that can be easily moved wherever you want him to be (just outside the gate during bath or meal time, next to the couch while you’re watching tv, at the foot of your bed at night…), play with him a lot, teach him his territory by walking the perimeter with him.
Shepherds are so smart and so sensitive, and these traits can be a blessing and a curse. It’s what we love about them, and what makes them high-maintenance. I can’t wait to read more about your adventures with Eli, and I’m starting to yearn for another one myself!
I don’t have a dog like yours- but my mom does. A shelter dog that was abandoned and reduced to eating rocks to survive. She has some seperation issues (the dog, not my mom), as well as some food issues. My mother has given the dog a daily routine to expect. When they leave her- never more then a couple hours- my mom puts a dog rug on the couch, puts the dog’s pillow and stuffed monkey on the couch, and turns on the dogs favorite TV show (Paula Deen’s home cooking!). I think it’s all about routine. The dog knows EXACTLY what to expect. dinner time is exactly the same every day, walks go the same way….everyday has a routine that the dog can count on, and after several months the dog relaxed and is very happy and laid back.
By the way- I read your blog religiously. You make me laugh, you make me cry. I look for people to share you with, only to find that the people I find online are often more intune with my sentiments then many people around me.
Lick my Tongue Twisty will go down as one of the single best reads ever.
Thank you.
Oh gosh, don’t get me started here…My beloved Calvin was never crated. Doesn’t mean he shouldn’t have been sometimes. I’m a sort of let ‘em roam free kinda gal. Sounds like you have a good plan with the gates for meals and the plexi was a great idea. Why/when do you feel you need to crate him? Rather, I’d toss a blanket on the floor for a few nights and hunker down with him until he knows he’s home for good.
Poor Eli, just feeling a little insecure still. We’ve never had a doggit with severe separation anxiety, but one thing I’ve learned from our training classes with Kharma is to take things slowly. Use a situation over and over and build up tolerance and time gradually. This is a dog website that I love: http://www.canis.no/rugaas/questions.php
This gal seems to get inside a dog’s head and her advice is gentle and loving. Try it and see what you think. Give both pups a hug for me.
No advice, but that is the sweetest face ever. I love shepards.
We crate our dogs, but they love it. They go in there freely to sleep. I’ve never (eeewwww!) washed the blankets inside which i think they like. It’s their little smelly den.
My experience has been that once clingy and needy, always cling and needy. That said, clingy and needy can feel pretty good sometimes. Our dear friends adopted a pony size husky a few years back, not finding out the sad tale of his life before coming to them until it was too late. (Jenn, you may actually have read about the home he came from as it was in Queensbury, NY and made the Capital Region papers) The husband murdered and dismemebered the woman and stowed her in a suitcase for later distribution of body parts in NYC. The dog is pathalogically skittish and destroyed many things when left alone- couches, doors, walls etc. They bought a Kong for him and filled it with peanut butter and all other manner of sticky, gooey, edibles. Turns out it keeps him busy and soothes him. They complimented that with frequent walks. It ain’t perfect, but at heart he’s a good hound and they know it.
That and a quarter, right? Sorry. It really sounds like you are perfectly on track.
I’ve had one dog who was a small dog with neglect/separation issues, but she was so timid she would never think of going crazy.
However, a few years ago, we had a choc. lab w/ major separation anxiety issues. He broke 3 crates, destroyed numerous doors, and was on heavy doses of anti-anxiety medicine.
My in-laws took him in (who happen to have a litter-mate of his) and he does OK there. Not great, but OK. I honestly don’t think that he could stand to be away from his litter-mate.
You’re dog is beautiful, by the way. What a sweet, sweet face & gorgeous eyes!
My Boy Dog was JUST like that. I mean just. Only, he didn’t just stayed glued to you, he would literally jump on you and sit on you and at 85 lbs, that was so not fun.
We crated him for a while with bribes (aforementioned Kongs filled with PB to get him inside) but I quit it b/c of the combination of the ‘dread face’ when he went in and coming home (x2) to find him hunched in the back to avoid the nervous vomit in the front. That was it for me.
He grew out of it, I think it’s a little different if it’s trauma related vs. temperament style, if that makes sense. Our boy’s was definately from being abandoned, adopted and returned and then adopted again. It took a little while.
We were advised to give him long, daily walks to drain off energy and to pay him absolutely NO attention upon leaving (no hugging, petting, saying goodbye, making eye contact, etc) or coming into the house. To completely ignore him (while he was hysterical trying to greet us, even, which was hard) until he calmed down. That really seemed to work well. Pretty soon, it wasn’t that big of a deal. Now we pet him upon re-entry b/c he’s a mature, and well adjusted guy.
Sorry for the heinously long response. Just wanted to be a little ray of sunshine for you.
PS.
I forgot to say..
C’MON, with those ears.
Oh yes, we had Sam, the reddish wavy coated golden retriever who was dumped on the side of the road by someone who had beaten her. I adopted her just days before she was due to be euthanized. Why no one else wanted her, I have no idea.
We brought her home and found that she had seizures. We got her on phenobarbital. We loved her for four short years. She died of cutaneous lymphosarcoma, a very nasty skin lesion cancer. She’s been gone for over 8 years now, I miss her so much.
She was very nervous about being alone and as a result went nearly everyplace with us. She went to the beach with us, she would dive through car windows to get into the car. I miss her terribly. Even with five kid and only having a two door sedan, we made room for Sam in the car where ever we went.
Love this dog with all your heart and give him a hug from me for Sam. He has her eyes.
Jeesh, I forgot to say that once we had to leave Sam in the house and she took all of my books off the lower shelves of my book case and then ate them all. She ate through a baby gate to get to them. That was the last time we left her home alone.
Do you crate Nina? Would a kennel big enough for both of them to go into together work, do you think?
I had a very neurotic dog who was so bad the vet actually suggested putting him on prozac. He hurt himself several times when we weren’t home. (Once he chewed through the wing of an air conditioner and got himself stuck in the window, once he clawed up the linoleum so badly his paws bled and become infected.) As a result we recommitted to crate-training even though he hated the crate. I’m not sure he ever bonded with it, but at least we knew he was safe.
We talked extensively about getting a second dog to help ease his separation anxiety, but never did it. Mostly because I was terrified that the second dog would be just as neurotic.
Well, I’m a little ray of sunshine AND a huge help, huh?
sounds like a question for Cesar Milan, the dog whisperer
I think with him and you, be sure to have a session with him about twice a day in which you send thoughts of reassurance and everything’s OK to him. (OK, once a day.) Some eye contact here is good, and a sort of ritual thing that he will come to like and expect. The vibe would be light but a prayerful or zen thing. F.Y.I., St. Roch is patron for dogs and dog lovers; St. Dympha for anxiety and mental disorders. No, you don’t have to be a Catholic for them to work. Also, cruise over to the healthfoods store and get Bach’s Rescue Remedy and put a few drops on his food on a regular basis. You may already know about this, having kids and all. Your blog is tops, and you are a true princess. hal
We have a dog who is terrified of children, and we’ve had great luck consulting with an animal behavioralist. our behaviorist has a series of small pamphlets (30-40pp each) that we’ve found really really helpful. one of them is about separation anxiety. you can take a look at the books here (you’ll have to scroll down to find the one on separation anxiety, called “i’ll be home soon!”. they don’t have links for the individual booklets, alas.)
http://www.dogsbestfriendtraining.com/books-retail.php
ps: I forgot to say that the author of those pamphlets uses only positive reinforcement in her training programs. No negatives, no punishments, ever. her suggestions have worked great for us!
I’m afraid I have absolutely no wisdom to share … partly because I’m too amused by the notion that came to me while reading – that Eli put that neckerchief on himself.
Love your blog! Had to offer something because I’ve had herders all my life and am familiar with the separation anxiety affliction.
My corgi boy, who lives a charmed life, screams bloody murder and tries to take my hand off if I appear to be leaving. A trick I’ve used that works wonders is to put a dab of peanut inside a hollow bone, drop it on the floor and walk out without any fanfare. I was laughing the other day when I realized that I had not left my home without applying peanut butter to something for at least 10 years.
Since Eli is so food-driven, it might lessen the initial anxiety by redirecting his focus. Also, it’s important not to make your return entrance very emotional. I don’t address my dogs until I’ve taken my coat off. Then it’s just a quick hello (no physical contact) and out the door to potty. The more matter-of-fact entrances and exits become, the less trauma is induced.
Good luck – he’s a beautiful boy.
Poor Eli! I’ve had a few rescue dogs that came through here, with the same issues.
Dogs almost have no perception of time, and because of that 5 minutes and 5 hours are, to them, the same. I learned this working with my vet on a Rottie I had foisted on me that would literally try to chew his way through the front door to get to us. A heavy duty steel front door, needless to say there were many vet trips to check his mouth for damage, and the removal of splinters in his mouth when he figured out that the doorjamb made for better chewing. Anyway, and I did this with success with 3 different dogs including him. I would get ready to leave (put shoes on, grab my coat, purse, etc) the entire time I’d have them with me, telling them I was leaving and offering treats when they got agitated knowing what was coming. I would then tell them to sit, and leave. I would stand outside the front door, starting at 2 minute time frames and listen. Before they started whining or scratching (or chewing) I would then walk in and praise them, giving more treats. I did this several times a day, after a week taking a longer time, so on so forth.
It teaches them that you ARE indeed coming back, and making it longer and longer intervals you’ll see for yourself that it will begin to take more time for them to start freaking out. Eventually they will start wandering away from the front door and doing whatever it is dogs do when we aren’t there to watch, like walk on hind feet and steal one of every sock in the dryer. It helps if you toss a few special toys of a good bone down near the door when you start, something he loves and will only get while you are “gone” As you increase the time frame of you leaving, put it further and further away from the door.
Good luck with the big guy, he’s a sweetie pie!
You can totally tell Eli’s a good boy. I imagine F. sent him to you and you needed the kind of friend that would love you so much it caused him such great worry.
I’ve recently read an excellent book I highly recommend: The Dog Listener (not Whisperer). The way she describes sep. anxiety is that the dog is unsure of his role in the pack. He thinks he needs to take care of you (and the clinginess is also a symptom of it). She likened the situation to if your two year old locked you in the house and drove off… you’d be desperate with worry! So your job is to define your roles in the pack and let Eli off the hook — let him know that you’re the pack leader and he doesn’t have to worry. Fortunately, it’s really simple to do this and the book tells you how.
If you want to read it and it’s not at the library, please email me your address and I will send you a copy.
Best wishes.
wow he looks like such a sweetie…i wanna give him a big hug
“Does this scarf make my nose look big?”
Had a dog for two years at Grinnell. Psychopathic separation anxiety. One Saturday, we had to leave her locked in the back porch, and she ATE the room. Couch, carpet, doors, everything. Another day we had to lock her in the basement. She ate through the door to escape. She was kinda retarded… probably because of all the lead paint she ingested.
Our solution was to move to an apartment after graduation that didn’t allow dogs, and then use that as an opportunity to push her off on the in-laws. We found this to be a low-cost, 100% effective solution to our problem.
(Never, never, never let your spouse bring home a pound hound without at least giving you a head’s up first… and never under any circumstances get a dog that is part Dalmatian.)
Hello! He looks like such a lovely dog! Have you considered the Bach Flower Remedies? They are effective for animals as well as humans – we have tried Aspen (for unknown fear) on my parents’ dog, but you could try the general Rescue Remedy or perhaps Mimulus (for known fear) on him. Try an Internet search – you’ll find a lot of information. Hope it helps!
Hilary
Eli is beautiful. So is Nina. Love the happydawgness coming across in the pic. Go, F’s family!
Sorry to hear about Eli’s understandable sep anxiety. You could try something borrowed from wolf families. When Eli starts loses his cool, roll him on his back gently, look into his eyes and hold him steady, and reassure him that you love him and that you’ll be back, or, if returning, that you missed him. When a non-alpha wolf acts desperately needy, they want reassurance and the “alpha roll” addresses that. After a separation and the alpha roll giving him a walk or something that requires muscle to chew (more substantial than a rawhide for a beast Eli’s size) would be a good thing to dissipate his nervous energy.
Wishing you and Eli the miracle dog lots of love and peace!
-the Hermit
Hm, reading up on this, it appears I used a controversial technique on my dogs. Oops. Well, they didn’t mind and I used it rarely. If he won’t let you roll him, don’t!
You’re welcome. ‘Twas a pleasure. Truly!
Eli is sch a pretty dog. I would love to learn how to do that one-eyebrow-up look he’s giving you.
I had a German Shepherd from 8 weeks until her death of old age last year and while I can’t speak for seperation anxiety per se, she also did the thing where she would follow us from room to room. I would feel bad, she’d be asleep and I would get up to go to the bathroom or get a snack and my poor old dog would get up and drag herself along behind me, only to end up back in the same spot two minutes later when I came back. Maybe that part a German Shepherd thing.
Looking at your Eli makes me miss my dog but in a good way.
I grew up with a German Shepherd who had been trained to attack. She had been chained all day and was viicious. Shannon was a scary dog when we got her, but it wasn’t long before the cat was sleeping on her back by the fire. She was a farm dog, and when my dad took her to the tobacco market, she rode in the back of the truck (horrifying!) and with a “stay” command, she jumped down into the shade under the truck and waited for several hours untll my dad came back to give her another command. Same thing at the vet’s office,. My dad loved to show her off – she was the most affectionate, obedient dog ever, and never wore a leash. We moved to the city eventually, and my grandparents took care of her, making her scrambled eggs every morning. She is the dog I imagine when I think of having dogs again. I think your sweet dog just needs time to understand that he is with you to stay. No one believed that Shannon could become so docile, and if we weren’t so “country” I’m sure we would’ve heard a lot more criticism of my parent’s decision to keep her. I’m glad they did.
He might always have some separation anxiety. I’ll walk you through the DTs if you want. Most dogs who come with separation anxiety and “velcro dog” behavior will retain some of that. The main thing is to keep enforcing your “happy Alpha” status (thus making him feel more secrure, and lots of patience. I’ll send you an email tomorrow outling some optios for de-sensitivity training.
One of my current dogs had such severe sep. anx. that she actually jumped out a window to get to us when we were leaving her one day.
As my youngest likes to say, “it could be worse, you could live here.”
Heather
Hi Jenn
We had a lovely rescue German Shepherd cross many years ago. She had major separation anxiety issues, and could become very hysterical and destructive when left.
In desperation, we read many books and consulted FIVE behaviorists (she had other, more serious mental issues too). It’s been seven years since she died and I still miss her enormously.
We managed to control her anxiety using a variety of several different methods. It took a while, and it was hard work, but it was also nice to be able to leave the house once in a while:
1. Always be the head of the pack and don’t give in to Eli’s demands for attention every time (i.e. ignore him until he goes away, then call him back to make a fuss of him).
2. Restrict the dogs access to certain rooms, so Eli gets used to you being around, but is not able to stick to you like glue every minute you are in the house.
3. Ignore him completely when you return home, until he is completely calm. Don’t make a fuss of him for quite a while before you leave the house.
4. Leave the house initially for very short periods, and work up gradually.
5. This one can mis-fire if done incorrectly, as it can be perceived by the dog as a reward for his anxious behaviour. For this to work, the dog has to be so worked up about the food that you leaving becomes secondary:
Teach him to “leave it” or “wait” for food until you say “take it” (or some such command) and use this trick when you leave the house (you say “take it” as you close the door). Leave food that takes forever to eat, or extract. Buster Cubes are trickier than Kongs to get food out of, and are great mental stimulation. I used to smear Marmite (I’m British, I don’t know what the American equivalent is, but it’s strong smelling, strong tasting, very sticky and hard to lick off in a hurry) on hard smoked bones and leave them dotted around the kitchen. It took forever to rub it into the bones, and the dog would get hungrier and more food-focused the longer I took. In the end you could feel the vibes “dude, just hurry up and LEAVE so I can get to those bones”.
6. Seek out the opinion of an accredited behaviorist, or at least read some books by behaviorists that use positive reinforcement methods. Dogs do not think like people, and it’s very useful to gain some insight into the way their minds work, to enable you to help them most effectively.
I found these author-trainer/behaviorists very helpful:
John Fisher for ‘Think Dog’ and ‘Why Does My Dog…?’
Bruce Fogle for ‘The Dog’s Mind’
Gwen Bailey for her book ‘Perfect Puppy’, which is useful for owners of dogs of any age,
and also John Rogerson.
Good luck
He is a beautiful dog Jenn. I’m glad that Nina and Eli are becoming friends. It looks like you have some great suggestions for the separation anxiety. Who knew there were so many options!
Exercise, exercise, exercise. Maybe with a backpack to make his little shepherd-soul feel useful.
I had a hound I rescued who had a similar history to Eli – bone thin when we got her, dreadfully timid, especially of men, and generally freaked out by the world at large. She died two years ago, and we still sit around and tell Sarah stories and laugh. The suggestions above are by and large excellent. I know with Sarah it helped for us not to make a huge deal or fuss about comings or goings or anything she was frightened of. They definitely look to the leader of their pack to set the tone for everyone, so if we just calmly pet her, gave her a treat, and left as though it was no big thing, she did better than if we got all stressed out and anxious or focused a lot on her before leaving. The short trips are a good idea too, as are the chewies/stuffies – Melissa’s tips in general are real close to what we did with Sarah. Nothing works so well as time spent with loving humans. Sarah got over so many of her huge fears in the time we got to have her. It was humbling and even inspiring to eventually watch her walk up to strange men, or calmly step aside for a bicycle, things that gave her huge, shaking panic attacks when we first got her.
Schmeena will help, too.
Eli won the dog jackpot! I’m happy for him.
We have a dog with separation anxiety too, he runs in circles and barks whenver we get near the door, or put on our jackets or even get our keys out. I have talked to a dog trainer and was told to give him something to chew on whenver we leave to distract him. We haven’t done it. don’t know why. I kind of forgot about it until this post. When we had two dogs, it was no better. Also instead of crating Eli when you go out you could just try to gate him in a safe spot. we did that with Farley cause she couldn’t be trusted when left alone. She and Jango would be behind the baby gate by the back door. Lots of room for both of them and not entirely closed in but could not get into trouble. I put them together so Jango wouldn’t taunt her on the other side. cause he is an evil sort. Good luck, I think he just needs lots of love and sounds like he is in the perfetct home.
I hope you see this even though the post is a few days old.
If you can find someone who does “Healing Touch” for animals in your area, it’s worth the expense. A few ‘treatments” from someone experienced in anxiety issues can make a big difference.
Also, “Rescue Remedy” which you can get in any all-natural store, seems to help some pets as well.
Good luck with your new man. He’s a love.