Choo. Choo. Choo. CHUP CHUP CHUP CHUP. Choo. Choo. Choo. Choo. CHUP CHUP CHUP CHUP. Choo. Choo. Choo. CHUP CHUP CHUP CHUP CHUP CHUP. I lean against the doorframe, looking out into the backyard, watching the dogs snuffle the perimeter. Overhead, in the spindly pine tops, unseen birds call out, in their respective languages. I [...]
We don’t have to call it love. Call it what you want, but there is no undoing this sort of knowing. In my case, this is a knot that was broken, torn, not untied. That’s what this heart says, and there’s no one left to argue the case. Why wouldn’t my heart assume it had gotten the last word?
They’re not here. They’re wherever it is they are and will ever be, with whomever—the whomever who happens to not be me, or you, for that matter. There’s no reason to give a damn, anyway. There’s no benefit in giving a f*ck, giving a damn. Hindsight is 20-20, as they say. The photos don’t lie. [...]
H: [reading from the sentences she's written for homework] “I love the smell of panties.” Me: [gulp] What? H: [louder] “I LOVE THE SMELL OF PANTIES.” Me: WHAT?!? [checking homework, which reads "I LOVE THE SMELL OF PEONIES"] Oh. Of course. Peonies. H: It’s like you’re deaf.
“I wanted to be a dancer. But you crushed that dream,” says Sophie. We are nestled in her loft, having one of our bedtime chats. Dream-crushing, however, is a new topic. “I crushed a dream? When did I crush a dream? How could I not notice, that I crushed a dream?” “I was five.” “What [...]
First, write a how-to series on your blog. Be esoteric. Amuse yourself. Cry while you type, then snort-laugh, then cry again. You are a necessary fool. Now it’s time to be a proper one. You saw that coming, I know. Best accept your fate. Necessary, proper. Without you, the protagonists would have no one to [...]
First, brush your younger daughter’s hair while you watch Man Vs. Food together on the couch. Attempt a French braid, like gentle-eyed mothers in poignant dramas do. Admire your lopsided attempt. Then realize the French braid is one of many, many things that you will do for your daughter that she will never see for [...]
First, hear the stealth taps. Tap. Tap. Two taps, on the red metal screen door. Bolt to the door, then, from the dining room. Witness your Passive-Aggressive Postal Ninja Lady scurrying down your stairs. Fling open the door. Say, Hey. Hi. I’m home. That’s why the front door is open behind the screen door. And [...]
1. That? Yeah. That’s not happening. That’s not going to happen.
2. I do appreciate your not saying I told you so. I really, really appreciate it. Your self-restraint is commendable. It’s one of the many reasons that I love you, you know.
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I stare at the massive heap of bills, knowing already which ones will have to wait. The nausea intensifies. Three digits in the bank account, and the mortgage is due on the 12th. The real estate tax bill also arrived, a charmer at $518. I haven’t paid for the last oil delivery, either—another doozy at [...]