Welcome to Jenny’s PBS (Public Blogcasting System) Fundraising Drive. I promise not to bump regularly scheduled programming for a week.
I know these are sucky times for many, many folks. But if you’ve been waffling and losing sleep over which non-nonprofit charity to support, may I suggest you save Jenny and Her Daughters this fall, rather than a whale or a coral reef or a zoo lion or a highway or a glacier?
Tip Jar says hi (above)! Tip Jar says, Hey, you’re pretty! Tip Jar says, Ooh, Karma and I are, like, best friends!
Dear Readers, I am still mostly out of work here in rural MA, and I need help. I hate that I don’t have a book to sell you yet. I only have this, my blog of five years. That’s been a labor of love. I am cheap roadside literature. Okay, I am FREE roadside literature.
The BEAW roadside stand needs some serious help, right now. I ask now because I don’t know how we are going to make it to next month, to school lunches and school supplies and dinners that cost more than a dollar and don’t come in a box with orange elbow noodles on it.
BAD SH*T GOING DOWN:
1) My back door just fell off. After 50 years in use, it finally yanked loose from the hinges. And yet, it came as a rather unwelcome surprise, to me. La la la hinges are forever la la la! Needless to say, one needs a back door. But I can’t get one, because the situation is currently dire, as evidenced by
2) For the past two months I only buy food when I must, i.e., during the weeks that the girls are here. It makes for an interesting fasting and elimination schedule. I go one week on wholesome well-balanced meals with girls, then I do one week solo on bags of cheap broccoli slaw. I am considering marketing my Po’ Ass Broke Ass Cleansing Fast to celebs who want to be skinny and kinda rough and gangsta at the same time. Like Gwyneth. She secretly wants to be skinny AND po’, faux gangsta.
I have worked it out up until now, more or less. But I am still underemployed. And things are really, really bad. I am scared.
I have a Tip Jar (at the tippy-top of the page) with a link to PayPal. It’s so safe and friendly, it’s the Golden Retriever of charitable donations.
The exciting news is that, though I can’t give you a receipt like the Salvation Army, I can give you something far more frameable and lovable. I am willing to swap something—anything—creative and artsy and unexpected—for a Tip Jar Donation from any of you who can spare it. No worries if you can’t. But if you ARE dripping in disposable income, a few bucks in my Tip Jar would go a long, long way toward a new door and some school supplies and groceries.
I’d rather not have to choose between a door and groceries, is the thing.
It sucks to put this out here. Public assistance is assisting. But it only assists so far. Same with family assistance. My resources are tapped out, at the moment.
I need a door. And some food. And school supplies for a fourth- and first-grader.
No, I don’t have a book. I would love to sell you one. But I’ve got moxie AND mad creative skillz AND a post office RIGHT NEARBY. Maybe we can work something out?
So would you like a haiku for the most annoying person in your life? An inside-joke cartoon (you’d have to let me in on the joke)? A lipstick print on a pair of boxer shorts (please specify lip placement)? Your favorite BEAW quote, calligraphied on a postcard?
Wanna swap resources? Brothas and sistas, can you spare a tenner for a door? Donate, and ask for some artsy writerly stuff, and ye shall receive in return. Let me know what I can swap for cash.
P.S. Would anyone like to buy my purple bike? I could autograph it with a Sharpie. BEAW the heck out of it. A purple bike with Sharpie’d BEAW quotes would be so awesomely gangsta and one-of-a-kind! Hellz yeah!!!!! AMAZE YOUR FRIENDS AND CLUTTER UP YOUR GARAGE FOR A GOOD CAUSE!!!!!
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